Kaleidoscope Eyes Read online

  PRAISE FOR KAREN BALL’S NOVELS

  KALEIDOSCOPE EYES

  “Karen Ball offers an intriguing story that kept me turning the pages and guessing the truth right up to the end. Recommended reading for anyone who enjoys suspense and romance.”

  —TRACIE PETERSON, bestselling author of What She Left for Me

  “This is my kind of book! Intrigue, suspense, search and rescue … and romance! Karen Ball delivers with a story that is perfect for a snowy weekend in front of a cozy fire. Well done!”

  —SUSAN MAY WARREN, author of Expect the Sunrise,

  a Team Hope search and rescue romance

  SHATTERED JUSTICE

  “Karen Ball speaks to the heart. Readers will fall in love with her realistic characters and gripping story line in Shattered Justice. A surefire hit!”

  —KAREN KINGSBURY, bestselling author of

  One Tuesday Morning and Beyond Tuesday Morning

  “Shattered Justice is for anyone who has ever known grief or asked God, ‘Why me?’ Karen Ball paints a beautiful picture of redemption and regeneration and shows that even our suffering sometimes has a greater purpose. Keep a box of tissues handy, because you’re going to need it!”

  —TERRI BLACKSTOCK, bestselling author of River’s Edge

  A TEST OF FAITH

  “Anyone who has ever struggled in a mother-daughter relationship will identify with A Test of Faith. The story is as real as the evening newspaper. It was as if I was, reading about my own mother, my own daughter, and perhaps more profoundly, reading about myself.”

  —DEBBIE MACOMBER, New York Times bestselling author

  THE BREAKING POINT

  “The Breaking Point is compelling and strikingly honest. This story touches the heart and gives hope for struggling marriages. Karen Ball writes with clarity, depth, and power. It’s a pleasure to recommend this engaging and memorable book.”

  —RANDY ALCORN, bestselling author of Safely Home

  “Gut-wrenching in its honesty and passion, The Breaking Point packs a powerful message of obedience and God’s healing.”

  —BRANDILYN COLLINS, bestselling author of Brink of Death

  NOVELS BY KAREN BALL

  FAMILY HONOR SERIES:

  Kaleidoscope Eyes

  Shattered Justice

  A Test of Faith

  The Breaking Point

  “Bride on the Run” in the 3 Weddings and a Giggle anthology

  For Jackie Darby and Rogue.

  Some of my earliest memories of search and rescue

  include you, Jackie. Your boundless energy, your humble

  confidence, your heart for finding the lost … You epitomize

  the heart and soul of K-9 search and rescue. Courage.

  Determination. Compassion. Skill. Wisdom.

  And, ever and always, a great sense of humor.

  Thank you for giving of yourself, for sharing your

  amazing ability and your remarkable dog with so many

  You and Rogue were a wonder, finding those that others couldn’t.

  And though you can’t be out there now, doing what you love

  so much, you’re still a wonder. The battle before you is huge,

  but know that you have countless people pulling for you.

  Because we know that even this won’t keep you down.

  We believe in you, Jackie.

  And we love you.

  AUTHOR’S NOTE

  This was an especially fun book to write because of my love for both dogs and search and rescue. Annie’s Kodi is real. Well, sort of. She’s based on my dad’s black German shepherd, Kodi. And while Dad’s Kodi isn’t a skilled K-9 rescue dog, her personality is exactly what you see in this book: a big, too-smart-for-her-own-good, lovable moose who thinks ninety-five pounds is the perfect weight for a lapdog. So thanks, Dad, for loaning me Kodi for the story

  A multitude of thanks to the Rogue Valley K-9 SAR (search and rescue) members Frank, Jo, Mike, Gary, and Karen. They let me follow them and their dogs during a training session. Not only did I learn a lot; I got a great workout. Tell you what, those dogs are some kind of athletes. My respect for them, and for their handlers, is boundless. So thanks to Karen Mihaljevich in particular, who read this story to make sure I got the SAR details right. And pats on the head and an extra treat to Rio, Raven, Holly, and Abby, search dogs extraordinaire. If I’m ever lost, I hope you’re there to bring me home!

  A big hug and thanks to Michelle Yarborough, a talented stained glass artist. I saw Michelle’s work last fall at a home show and knew she was the kind of artist I wanted Annie to be. Michelle’s work is stunning. Creative and unique. She may not have synesthesia, but I think she sees things others don’t. Beautiful things. I went into this book knowing nothing about the art of stained glass, and Michelle welcomed me into her studio, walked me through the procedure, and read the manuscript to ensure accuracy (and forgave me for the liberties I took with Annie’s window). She was an invaluable resource and a delight.

  I’m especially grateful to Clay Jacobsen, fellow novelist and TV director, who shared his expertise on the workings of network TV with me. His credits are impressive, though too numerous to mention (but you can check them out for yourself at www.clayjacobsen.com).

  Finally, thanks to my dear friend Lori Benton for sharing from her own life. Lori has synesthesia. I remember the first time I heard about the condition. My weekly coffee group was meeting, and Lori commented that she’d changed the date in which she’d set her most recent novel because “the colors were better.” Now, Lori just went on talking. But all of us in the coffee group are writers, so you can imagine how we put on the brakes and demanded to know what she meant. We listened amazed as she explained how she saw colors in letters and numbers, that her sister has synesthesia as well, but “her colors are different.”

  Thus began my exploration of a condition I didn’t even know existed. But the more I studied it, the more I wished I had it! And I knew, without a doubt, that Annie Justice did have synesthesia. So with Lori’s permission, I incorporated her colors into the story, both through Annie’s point of view and in the color descriptions of the dates. (If you’d like to see Lori and Annie’s color chart, visit my website at www.karenballbooks.com.)

  Many thanks to Lori for sharing what I believe is a special gift from God. To see colors where others don’t, to have that added dimension of beauty, seems a rare blessing. Which is fitting, because Lori’s friendship is that as well.

  Blessings to you!

  Karen

  “For you are a holy people, who belong to the LORD your God

  Of all the people on earth, the LORD your God has chosen

  you to be his own special treasure. The LORD did not

  choose you and lavish his love on you because

  you were larger or greater than other[s] …

  It was simply because the LORD loves you …

  his own special treasure.”

  DEUTERONOMY 7:6-7

  “O LORD, you are my light; yes, LORD,

  you light up my darkness”

  2 SAMUEL 22:29

  PROLOGUE

  “If we have no peace, it is because we have

  forgotten that we belong to each other.”

  MOTHER TERESA

  “Have compassion on me, LORD, for I am weak.

  Heal me, LORD, for my body is in agony.

  I am sick at heart.

  How long, O LORD, until you restore me?”

  PSALM 6:2-3

  It’s over.

  She sank to the ground, not caring that it was frozen. Not caring that the cold seeped into her body. Into her very bones. The ache gave her something to focus on. Something other than the terrible truth.

  Everyth
ing she’d started to believe, started to trust …

  Gone.

  Annie pulled her knees to her chest, circled them with her arms, and buried her face.

  She would not weep. She refused. But while she could hold the tears at bay, she couldn’t stop the questions that assaulted her mind and soul.

  How did this happen? How did she end up here?

  Because you’re a fool. Because you believed his lies. His promises.

  She turned her face to the night sky. Promises? He didn’t promise anything.

  Not in so many words. But you saw it in his eyes. That he cared. That he accepted you. That you belonged.

  She belonged …

  Annie squeezed her eyes shut against the pain and lifted her face to the sky. She forced her eyes open, searching the blanket of stars. Was He there? Was He listening? Did He care that her world was collapsing around her?

  “God … please.”

  The prayer floated onto the frigid night air in a puff of white, her plea frozen in space, suspended for a heartbeat between heaven and earth before disappearing.

  Why, Lord? Why couldn’t You leave me as I was? Alone, yes. But content. At peace.

  But even as she flung the questions at the sky, Annie turned her face away. She couldn’t face heaven because she knew.

  It was a lie.

  She hadn’t been at peace. Not then. Not ever. Not in what mattered most. She’d spent most of her life searching, longing.

  Is that so bad, Lord? All I wanted was to fit in. To belong somewhere. To someone.

  Her fingers curled into a fist. He’d made her so sure she’d finally found that …

  Fool! Stupid, trusting fool.

  Annie pushed herself to her feet, the cold that had seeped through her body and heart embodied in two fierce words: “No more!”

  Her words filled the night around her, shivering with the intensity of resolve. He’d played her for a fool. But that was over. She knew what she had to do, and she’d do it. As quickly and completely as possible.

  And then, when her task was finished, she’d walk away. Go back to who she used to be, to where she was safe. Protected. Guarded against the pain wracking her.

  She’d been a fool once. She’d never be that again.

  Not for him.

  Not for God.

  Not for anyone.

  ONE

  “From childhood’s hour I have not been

  As others were—I have not seen

  As others saw … ”

  “ALONE,” EDGAR ALLEN POE

  “May the God of peace … equip you with all you need for doing his will. May he produce in you … all that is pleasing to him.”

  HEBREWS 13:21

  Two Months Earlier

  AUGUST 24—A RED CLOVER DAY (GREEN AND ROSE)

  The woman in the mirror was dressed for a wedding.

  If anyone had told her a year ago that she’d be standing here, dressed like this, ready to walk down an aisle, flowers in hand—

  “You look beautiful.”

  She turned and felt the joy in her smile as she faced her brother. She was so used to seeing him in his deputy uniform—either that or jeans and a T-shirt—that the sight of him in a tux nearly took her breath away. “So do you.”

  Dan arched one brow and came to stand beside her, slipping his arm around her waist. “I, my dear sister, am not beautiful. Stunning. Handsome. Debonair. Drop-dead gorgeous, yes. But beautiful?” He flicked the end of her nose. “I think not.”

  A low, offended rumble drew their attention down, and Annie giggled. “I believe Kodi is still miffed at us.”

  Dan shook his head. “I still can’t believe Shelby let you talk her into using your German shepherd for the flower girl.”

  Annie knelt beside her dog and adjusted the flowers woven into the shepherd’s collar. “Hey, it wasn’t my idea. It was hers. She knows Kodi is part of the family” Annie angled a look at her brother as she stood. “Does Shelby know she’s marrying such a hunk?”

  His grin was equally playful as he tugged at the front of his tux. “Why do you think she said yes?”

  “Well, I thought it had something to do with you wearing a gun … ”

  “Brat.” He nudged her with a hip and stepped away “So where’s the other bridesmaid?”

  “You mean our beloved Sister-Mommy?” His lips twitched at her nickname for Kyla. “She’s making sure everything is running smoothly, of course. And by the way, she’s not a bridesmaid. She’s the maid of honor.”

  “Of course.” He looked out the window at the back yard. “You’ve really done a great job, Annie. It looks great down there.”

  She joined her brother at the window and nodded. Rows of chairs had been arranged in two sections beneath a large canopy A long white runner ran down the middle aisle between the chairs, leading to front. Cascades of fresh flowers adorned the front, providing the backdrop for the coming ceremony

  It was perfect. “Kyla oversaw most of it, of course.”

  “All except the flowers.”

  Annie squeezed Dan’s waist, then let him go. “All except the flowers. Well, I’d better go down and see how your bride is doing. Kyla would never forgive me if she found out I was up here twiddling the morning away”

  “Go to it, then. Since I’m just the groom, I’ll go hold up a wall someplace.”

  She laughed. “See there? You’re getting back into the swing of married life already.”

  Annie hurried down the stairs, Kodi at her side, doing her best to avoid anyone as they made their way across the yard to her studio, which had been turned into the bride’s dressing room. Annie had been delighted when Shelby and Dan asked to have their wedding at her home.

  “Your garden is just so beautiful,” Shelby said. “I’d love to be surrounded by all those flowers as we’re saying our vows.”

  Annie couldn’t argue. Her garden was her pride and joy Well, one of them. And the flowers had outdone themselves this year—almost as if they knew they were going to be part of something special.

  That’s what this wedding was. Special. She could hardly believe it had been just over three years since Dan’s first wife, Sarah, died. Annie hadn’t been sure he would recover from that loss.

  She opened the studio door and stepped inside. The sight that met Annie stopped her in her tracks. Shelby, in all her bridal glory, stood in front of a full-length mirror.

  She turned to look at Annie as she drew close, and when their eyes met, Annie saw such joy in Shelby’s gaze. “Do I look okay?”

  “Okay?” Annie’s laugh was choked with emotion. “You look amazing.” She embraced the woman God had used so wonderfully in Dan’s life and heart. “I’m so happy for you. And for my brother.”

  Shelby returned the hug.

  “What are you doing? You’ll wrinkle the dress!”

  The two women jumped apart and turned guilty gazes to Kyla, who stood there watching them. It took a second for Annie to realize the sternness in her sister’s eyes was teasing. “Oh, you!” She swatted at Kyla, who laughed and came to join the hug, careful not to squash the two bouquets she held.

  Kyla stepped back. “Everything’s set. The place is packed. Dan’s standing up there looking all excited and nervous. Jayce is at his side, looking particularly dashing in a tux.”

  “The flower girl is ready.” Annie patted Kodi’s head and met Kyla’s bland stare. Annie knew it took all of her sister’s self-control not to protest again. And from the wink Shelby sent her, her sister-to-be knew it too.

  Kyla handed one of the bouquets to Annie, then lifted the large, beautiful bridal bouquet and extended it to Shelby “So, what do you say, Miss Shelby? You ready to join this crazy family?”

  The warmth of Shelby’s smile enveloped Annie and Kyla. “Just try to stop me.”

  Annie eased into her office chair, glad to be out of the bridesmaid dress and back into jeans.

  The wedding had been wonderful. But she couldn’t deny she was glad it was
over, that everyone was gone. Crowds just weren’t her thing.

  She glanced at the calendar. August 24. A day of joy for Dan and Shelby A day of green and rose.

  The warm colors shimmered behind the twenty-four on the calendar, shading the day with a rich, contented mood.

  Annie leaned back in her chair, eyes closing as her thoughts drifted.

  Green …

  She liked green. It was friendly, alert, vibrant, and alive. Green had a way of infusing Annie—and the day around her—with excitement. As though something good was coming.

  Anticipation.

  Yes, that was it. Green was the color of anticipation. How appropriate for her brother’s wedding day

  “Daydreaming again, Annot?”

  Annie stretched and looked at the elegant woman standing at the end of her bed. “Don’t you know it’s rude for a houseguest to wake the hostess when she’s dozed off?”

  “I’m not a guest; I’m family”

  Annie grimaced at her older sister. Everything about Kyla, from her perfect thick hair to her oh-so-coordinated clothes to her insistent use of Annie’s proper name, proclaimed her controlled outlook on life.

  Hard to believe they were related.

  Where Kyla was tall and willowy, Annie was short and athletic. Where Kyla’s eyes shared the pure green of emeralds, Annie’s were an odd mix of gold and brown. Kyla called them hazel; Annie called them indecisive. Then there were their personalities. As different as night and day, white and black, relaxed and obsessive—

  A grunt beside Annie drew her attention to the large black form lying on the floor next to her. Annie reached out a hand to pat her dog’s broad head. “You have to admit it, Kylie, our flower girl here did a great job.”

  “I’ll give her this: she was the most obedient flower girl I’ve ever seen. Of course, she’s also the only flower girl I’ve ever seen who sheds.” Kyla sniffed. “Do you know that it takes me weeks to get rid of all the dog hair that adheres to my clothes after I’ve visited you? I thought German shepherds didn’t shed.”